Tribute to a great friend and brother

As we say goodbye to our dear Rev. Fr. Gerald Onuoha, I pay homage to a great friend, big brother and inspiration. “Pash Nwannam”—the endearing phrase I would never hear again from you.

I never imagined myself writing such a farewell message to you, or participating in your funeral arrangements. Since April 2011, before your first deployment, you have periodically told me about your death, and what I should do when it happened. Each time, I told you it will not happen; that you will return safely and that you have many more years of service left in you. Though I visited with you in your last days, I am still in shock. It still seems like a nightmare. That I will wake up and realize that it was all a dream. But hours have turned to days, and days to weeks, and I have not heard “Pash Nwannam” from you. Maybe, it is really true that you are no more. What a frightening thought.

We have known each other for many years. You mentored me while we were in the seminary. I was supposed to be the next Avutu priest after you. Though I left the seminary and you became a priest, we never lost each other. We shared strong bonds that even got stronger as we got older. You became the older brother that I never had, and I became the younger brother you did not have. I told you how much I loved you, and you shared the same sentiments with me.

Our people in Avutu know how close we are. But, only the two of us really know our relationship: a strong relationship built on mutual love, respect and a common vision. I knew your worries and dreams as much as you knew mine. I counselled you on certain issues as much as you counselled me on spiritual and community matters.
I helped you as to you moved to, and stabilized in the United States. You re-told the story of your move to the United States in December 2014 at our parish in Avutu. You stayed with us in Minnesota while you navigated your path through the new country. I remember dropping you off at several parishes in Minnesota for mass and picking you up after mass. In one parish, some in the audience couldn’t understand your accent. You couldn’t believe it took you more than 3 attempts to pass the driving test in the United States. But you soldiered on! You worked really hard to overcome several challenges. I knew your struggles and victories in the United States. To the Glory of God, you found happiness and success!

I cherish the love and confidence you had in me, even unto death. When you received the devastating news of your diagnosis, you told me that you will not die until my family and I returned from our Easter trip to Italy. Whilst on your death bed, you told everyone that you were waiting for me. You kept the promise. On my first visit to the hospital, you told the doctor that I was the one you have been waiting for. I wanted to cry, but had to hold myself. Over the next few days, we spent precious time together. We went over life, lessons learned, pieces of advice and specific instructions. I made promises to you, and now it is my turn to keep them. I will keep them.
Life will never be the same. Not for me; not for your immediate family; not for your umunna; and certainly not for those who knew you. You did not have to die this young. We had work to do; lives to improve; seeds to plant; and to make our people great.

Avutu Obowo has lost a great son! I have lost a very dear friend and big brother!
Fada Nwannam, laa na udo!!!